We don't know about you, but when we see a packaged food, the first word that comes to our mind is Fresh.
Damn you Burger King! You've fooled us into eating our apples! But how'd you manage to get the taste of prepubescent girls' perfume all in your Low Fat Caramel Sauce?
You damn monarch! Give us our freedom fries back! 
In the end though, after attempting to decieve us and belittle our rights as Americans, Burger King can always pacify the folks at ComeCheckTheNoise with some good old nostalgia.
But a Piplup? Really?
The folks at ComeCheckTheNoise can't determine how "All Natural" that is, but can assure that normal doses of Calcium Ascorbate for Vitamin C is safe.
However, take as many doses as you please of the song below. It's only side effects are minor to uncontrollable foot tapping and hallucinations in the form of childhood imagination. We hope you enjoy.
Apples - My Brightest Diamond
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